:: The Chronicles of ß ë ë ::

lately, i've been pondering alot. well, there always comes a time where u just sit and think about things . . . past, future or current. anything~

somehow, past haunts me now and then. duno if its a good/bad thing tho?

im the kind that bottles up and dun express much. hmmmm~ its quite bad actually cos im having thoughts floating around all the time and i dun like wat its doin to me. when i dun talk, i just dun talk. when i do, please catch up with me.

(source: deviantart.com by Trinket)

it just hurts to think back about wat had happened and wat didnt in the past. this is related to my previous blog ~C.H.A.N.G.E~
and fair enuff, it did come true cos things do happen for a reason. conclusion was obviously not a happy ending but hopefully, it will gradually fade away in time. yes! thats wat i want!

also, this quote i found:

"To escape pain, we create it."

The tiniest scratch will cause the shatter that will leave the scars.

HOW DAMN TRUE that this is relevant to my life atm. am i right?! yes/no!? i guess!? oh well, lotsa questions but im pretty sure it is and i dun think any adjustments would help in any way now or the near future. at least thats wat i want for now~

*sigh*

i suppose things will neva change and i duno if it will. then again, change is a good thing. the past is the past and ppl dun usually dwell on it, rite? that was wat i consistently tell myself. though, ppl do have regrets and doubts about their behaviors and self inflicted scars.

i can really live with silence. i dun mind that. i dun feel like talking to everybody about everything. i dun wanna tell everybody anything. im perfectly fine with just being alone in my room, bloggin, watchin series or even driving alone silently in my car. i believe that u can still move on with life even if others duno wat ur feeling or talking about.

u do need a few ppl in ur life. they are the crucial ones who will listen and comfort u. thank god for them!! it helps u get things off ur mind and keep u busy. work also does help in a way. despite the contrary, thoughts do find their way to creep upon u and then make u THINK again!!

*errrrrrrghhhhhhh*

ok.

time to go sleep!

shutting myself off but,

leaving u with . . .

"i'd rather hurt than feeling nothing at all"

!!!! GOOD NITE !!!!