:: The Chronicles of ß ë ë ::

sometimes it js doesn't help cos nothing can make me stop thinking . . . at times.
i am fine. i tell myself it will be fine and everything will be alrite.
then again, im having my mixed feelings, duno if i shd be angry or upset or disappointed or hurt or annoyed or nothing at all?!?!

(source: deviantart.com)

well, life is about minimizing regrets, no? so, yeah, move on. there are things that can't be the same anymore. altho it doesn't seem to matter now, however, it does, or shd i say, it did. i've asked numerous times for it but nothing happens. maybe thats y i din want it no more.

*sob sob*

i seem fine, i look fine, but aint that all on the outside?
can ppl really tell wat the hell is goin on in my head?
can they really know wat im thinking when i dun even mention anything?
i dun let them in, i dun express myself cos its disheartening to even talk about it.

yes. its my self built wall against me and the world around it. i will be left alone and die with all the sadness and sorrows buried with me. doesnt that sound depressing?

i remember sumone once sed tat i dun care much, i dun show much and i dun put them as priority when in reality, i see sumone everyday, i talk to sumone everyday, i spent my years with sumone everyday.

hmmm~ so mayb i am an evil emotionless selfish miserable human being cos i do not care, do not express and do not prioritize.

*sigh*

i stand there wondering

if my souls had gone shuddering,

as I think to myself,

what have i done to oneself?

I gasp for air as I disappear

into the realm of my own fear,

as I finally realize

and i couldn't believe my eyes.

it is my sadness and all my fear
that finally brings me here,
to what I'm feeling now
will eventually tear me down.

i wish to fade and disappear

with a mind so clear,
to some place divine
so i can rest my mind . . .

how bout that? a short and sweet poem i just whipped up in a few minutes. makes sense? i duno. does it?

ahhhhh~ wateva happened to that part of me. i used to attempt on writing poems and keep them in my little notebook.

orite.

leaving myself to muse upon my own world~