and im BACK! the bee is back down under again~ *sigh*sigh* away from home.... away from my beloved parents, away from my mum's cooking!!! >.< wah wah wah!!! things are back to normal for me again, that is uni of cos. damn it~ i so dun wanna go back to uni~ its so tedious~ *sigh*sigh* days passed by as i stepped foot in sydney. flashbacks of happy and sad memories in my mind. things that happened and went away are still stuck behind my head, but of cos, bad memories are stucked more!! damnit! its like bloooody hell glued to the back of my head and neva fallin down!! i duno why either~ *sigh*sigh* wish i could just erase them all. wish they neva happened at all. wish i could turn back time somehow. i wish for so many things but.... *sigh* .... in reality, there is no "genie in a bottle"
i've been helpless and indecisive lately. i duno wot to do and wot to think. im still lost actually. its like, i fell into this really really freakin DEEP BLACK HOLE and no one can save me but myself. i have been like this since months back and im still like that! oh dear. oh dear. im so dead~ wonder how my life is gonna be? am i gonna be ok? am i gettin well? is there anyone i can count on? anyone who can help?? im just screwed. i have a screwed up mind now. my F.E.E.L.I.N.G.S are screwed as well.
day by day.... i think and think. all ends up..... i duno wot am i thinking!! stooooooopid~ then tears starts tumbling down my cheek..... and it flooods my whole face~ *sigh*sigh* and i realise a person can change so much when sumtin happens to them. they start to think about sumtin more seriously. they start to think about more stuff. basically, they change into another person or develop a new character in themselves. sumtimes its a good thing and sumtimes a bad thing. i duno if i have changed. i might. maybe still in the process of changing or developing. im weak now. im lost now. i hate it!!! i hate that kinda feelinG! *sigh*sigh* and when things happen, they can neva be forgotten! NEVER!! its a fact and it stays that way. so hard to forget. so hard to find the remedy. really really HARD! *sigh*
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