Monday, May 19, 2008

i know my last post was not very long ago, but, i cant seem to go to bed. am i havin insomnia again? am i not tired? am i thinking about things? i reckon the latter.

i felt as if sumtin was . . . missing.
i felt as if sumtin was . . . not rite.
i felt as if sumtin . . . didnt happen.

in conclusion, i believe it was the M.I.S.S.I.N.G part.

for the past few nites, i've been expecting my phone to ring, but sadly it didnt. DOH!! i know it wouldnt ring cos hes not even physically here to call me. DOH!! somehow, i would js always expect it to. i dunno y tho. i reckon its a norm thats become part of my life. its the things that u've been doin for so long, u js realise that u cant put a stop to it just with a snap of a finger.

u start to miss things that both have done together.
u start to miss food that both have eaten together.
u start to miss places that both have been together.
u start to miss movies that both have watched together.


its the little things that make u miss a person so much that u cant stop thinking about all the time, everywhere u go and everything u do.

sumtimes, it gets quite frustrating cos u cant seem to do anything about it. hmmmmm~ now thats a problem. when u cant solve a problem, u cant seem to sleep and when u cant sleep, u start to think about stuff, and when u start thinking about stuff, u cant go back to sleep cos it just goes on and on and on, playing around in ur head . . . where u wonder about things.

*sigh*

damn it!

hate it when i feel like this.

always checking my phone, always looking around, always thinking, always missing. i feel like im clueless for awhile.

DARN!!

*grrrrrrrr*

u see, this is the freaking aggravating part.

im feeling like this atm, is he feeling the same way?
well, i cant tell rite??!?! im not him and im not his brain and im not there and i dunno!!! how the hell would i know? hmmmm~

wat if its one sided? omg!!! i think i would be so damn disappointed. i mite js collapse if i found out that its tru *sigh*

this it why i always tell myself "NEVER PUT TOO MUCH EXPECTATIONS" cos the higher u expect sumtin from sumone, the HIGHER u will get disappointed!! well, all i can say is learn from mistakes.

its not all that bad to have expectations. i mean, u shd have some in a way but, personally, i reckon im too vulnerable to be hurt atm. i dun wanna be cos i dun wanna cry all alone in my room. i dun wan that to come back to me cos i've been there, done that and i wanna leave that all behind me!

TQ very much!

good nite~

*sigh*

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